Hi everyone!
I hope you all are having a lovely day!
I know I’m not the only one who deals with this, but if I am… damn lol
I know for a fact that everyone in this world, whether that’s on the more likely or less likely side, gets Midnight Thoughts.
According to the Urban Dictionary, Midnight Thoughts are defined as:
the thoughts that keep you up at night or the thoughts that don’t let you sleep
urban dictionary
Usually, when I have these Midnight Thoughts, I usually allow Social Media to be the distraction I need to deliver me to a peaceful night’s rest.
However when thinking about it little bit more, why not blog about it.
I think the main issue why we have these “Midnight Thoughts” is because instead of talking about, writing about it, blogging, vlogging, really any forms of expressing it, sometimes, we negatively reinforce ourselves in an effort to try and make the thought go away.
To no surprise, the Midnight Thought always seems to come back and resurface when you least expect it as a way to taunt us.
Am I the only one?
Have you ever heard of that comment of “Raise your hand if you have a question; you may never know if someone else in the room also has that same question you may have”?
Yeah… same thing applies here.
Realistically, the only way we can truly confront our Midnight Thoughts is by talking about it.
And honestly, I have a lot of those.
And not only that, talking about it and confronting the thought:
it’s lowkey therapeutic.
But without further ado, this was a Midnight Thought that I had in the beginning of April and I really hope that by expressing up and forming my own solutions, this will benefit you, the reader, when applying it to your everyday life.
So let’s get to it!
It’s currently 12:09 AM on the 5th of April, 2021, and I have a Midnight Thought that’s been keeping me up for the last hour, and lowkey, it’s annoying.
Not only is it annoying for me, but it’s also annoying for the people who I bring it up to in conversations. Lol
My Midnight Thought:
*cue Jenna Marble’s 32-year-old lady jingle*
I’M 23 AND I’M SINGLEEEEEE AF
So real talk, I know… I know…
Anthony, you’re 23… STFU…
You’re young; there’s life to still explore and things to do
You’re a Matchmaker, you out of all people should DEFINITELY know that relationships are not all Peaches and Strawberries than what people portray
Talk about First World Problems…
We’re in a Pandemic anyway, it’s better to stay safe
And to that I say…
you’re absolutely… right…
Okay Anthony, then why are we talking about this?
I, alongside other daydreamers, always dreamt about that moment where I would meet that special person; my one and only, before anyone else.
This moment is something in which singles always dreamt about and the idea of it and the idea of being in love just makes us all giddy and excited…
Can I throw up now?
Real talk, I understand that there’s a world out there for me to explore, so many experiences to experience, so many places to go, many things to see, etc.
The idea of love can DEFINITELY be put on the back burner,
ESPECIALLY SINCE I’M ONLY 23.
AND ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO BE FOCUSING ON MYSELF, MY AMBITIONS, AND MY CAREER.
It can wait…..
But why is this still bothering me?
For some reason, this question always seems to come back to taunt me and sadly, it negatively plays with my mental wellbeing and makes me ask myself about my current scenarios.
Anthony, you’re doing great for yourself so far, you have a great career, a lovely apartment, staying safe, virtually networking, getting vaccinated, all is well… btw you’re doing this all alone while someone out there in the world is happy with someone while you have no one.
I keep putting myself in different scenarios and no matter who different the scenario is, it keeps jumping back to the same question I always ponder.
Despite being on the right track in life, why does the idea of love; the thought of being with “the one”, so important to me though?
Something that has become apparent to me is that the reasoning is always the same taunting issues.
And when I try to convince myself otherwise and confronting it, I negatively reinforce myself in the process which could explain why the thought keeps coming back to taunt me.
Parallel to creating this post, I know for a fact that I’m not alone when it comes to this Midnight Thought and when it comes to these taunting issues.
I feel it’s important for us to face them.
People view being single as a negative when in reality, there’s a lot of positives of being single. We just choose to see the negatives and cons.
I’m going to take you through my process of how I best approached this and allow you come up with your 3 reasons and 3 solutions on your own.
So without ado, let’s get into it!
HOW TO EMBRACE BEING SINGLE
I wish I can tell you that “If you follow these 5 steps, you’ll embrace your singleness”, but truth be told, it’s a lot more complex than that. Let alone, everyone is different when it comes to being single and how they’re handling it.
If I were to tell you step by step on what to do, it’s sadly only temporary; you’re not really solving your midnight thought, therefore, it’s coming back to taunt you.
Embracing being single is something in which it’s a deep dive when it comes to what’s bothering you and what you are going to do to make it not sting as bad as it is.
The first thing you have to do when it comes to embracing your singleness is attacking the negative reinforcement head-on.
Like I said before, we really don’t positively reinforce ourselves, therefore, that’s one of the main reasons why the thought keeps coming back.
The best way to attack the thought head-on is by creating 3 main reasons on why the thought keeps resurfacing and coming back to haunt you.
If you think about it, it’s either a trigger or an event that occurs that makes the thought start coming back.
So if you want to know why this thought bothers you, you need to ask yourself what are the reasons, triggers, or things in everyday life that make this thought come back to haunt you.
Below, I stated my 3 reasons as an example:
3 Reasons That This Thought Keeps Resurfacing
1. Social Media reinforces Singles that someone out in the world, regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexuality, is happy with their person… and you’re not.
2. The Pandemic doesn’t make it any better; especially with our mental health
3. We are our Biggest Critics
Now that we have the 3 reasons presented, what you want to do now is go in depth with each reason.
You need to ask yourself the Why and if the Why’s are relevant or you just being childish.
It’s important for you to state the obvious facts of why they bother you, why it’s important, and why they keep on resurfacing.
For example:
1. Social Media reinforces Singles that someone out in the world, regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexuality, is happy with their person… and you’re not.
– Why It Bothers Me: Just seeing YouTube couples, TikToks, or any other social media couple happy and thriving really brings it back to me and where I’m at, which is being single
– Why It’s Important: It’s really not; it’s just the child in me being jealous and envious
– Why It Keeps Resurfacing: I keep seeing it on Social Media
Just being able to state the “Why’s”, it really helps you see the whole picture.
For this example, it shows that it’s not important and in reality, I may just be petty over this thought (which I am).
I think what social media does is that we keep scrolling to the next video or post and we try to forget about the thought that keeps occurring. However the problem is that it never really goes away; if anything, you’re putting the thought on the back burner.
Now that we have stated the 3 reasons and why each one keeps bothering you, we need solutions.
The best way is to write about them or talk about it.
We feel the need to keep quite and to distract ourselves as a way of making it go away. But it doesn’t really do anything.
If anything, writing about it on paper or talking in space really allows you to vent.
Once you’ve vented, the next thing you need to do is positively reinforce yourself.
You’re probably asking how do we do that: let me show you.
Reason: Social Media reinforces Singles that someone out in the world, regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexuality, is happy with their person… and you’re not
- On the bright side, at least you’re saving money and not having to worry about using money on dates, gas, gifts, etc,.
- On the bright side, at least I don’t have to worry about another person and can concentrate on myself
- On the bright side, on video it looks like they’re happy, but really, are they? Not my problem, I don’t have to worry about it.
If you haven’t caught on by now, we always worry. But reality, there’s always a bright side.
We always think about the negative and don’t think about the positives. To us, they’re happy, and instead of reflecting positive energy such as “They look so cute together”, we reinforce “WHY CAN’T THAT BE ME?!?!”.
Positive vibes can really take your mental health a long way.
Why not treat yourself?
We are always bombarded with the thought of “I want to do this with my special person, I want to do that”…
Okay… why not do those things by yourself and take yourself out on a date?
It sounds stupid… but reality, it’s actually therapeutic.
Have you ever taken yourself out for sushi?
What about a hike through a notable hiking trail?
Why not take yourself window shopping?
Why not try out that new video game?
Why not try out that new hobby you always wanted to do? Etc,.
You’re not only being negative, YOU’RE BEING LAZY!
If you take negativity and add procrastination, it comes to no surprise why you could be depressively single.
Literally, life is beautiful and until that special person comes your way, why not take initiative in your life?
Instead of moping that you’re single, why can’t you embrace yourself and strive to be the best person you can be?
If you’re not your best, how are you capable to love another person?
In the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
Overall
People view being single as a negative when in reality, there’s a lot of positives of being single. We just choose to see the negatives and cons.
It’s important to understand that no matter where you are in life until that special person comes, PUT YOURSELF FIRST AND TREAT YOURSELF!
Looking at this now, I can proudly say… I’m just being petty lol
Overall, I’m 23, I’m young, and I have LOTS OF ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT! So, why not take initiative on it.
And look on the bright side, the more progress I make, the more I am bettering myself as a person.
You just need to keep a positive mindset and understand that life is beautiful and again, until that person comes, I’m feeling myself, improving myself, and living my safe, pandemic life!
Life Update
Wow, I barely made the 2 posts per month deadline. RIP
Can we talk about better late then never?
I apologize for the delay, I just got my second vaccination shot. HOORAY!
I am very grateful and happy, but wasn’t so grateful for the horrible side effects to come afterwards.
I kid you not, like my fraternity big texted me, it wasn’t until the 8th hour after getting my vaccine that all hell broke lose.
And I mean, going to bed with THE WORST BODY CHILLS I HAVEN’T HAD IN A WHILE, to then manifest into ME LOSING MY S#%* AND PRETENDING I WAS AN UNDERCOVER DETECTIVE, to then manifest into a HORRIBLE MIGRAINE… and then the next day… I was fine… (thank you Tylenol)
I am very grateful to be vaccinated and I do encourage everyone to get the vaccine and if you decide not to, that’s totally fine and I encourage you to just please be cautious to those who are being cautious of the pandemic and to be respectful.
I have loads of ideas that I want to create and hopefully going into May, I can get those post going!
It’s definitely going to take me out of my comfort zone, but like the post I just created state, I’m taking initiative in my life and just rolling with it!
I hope you all are having a lovely day and are staying safe and healthy during this time! Continue to stay safe and healthy during this time, and I will see you more in May!
AND ALSO IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY, I AM VERY, VERY ACTIVE ON SOCIAL MEDIA (INCLUDING CLUBHOUSE), SO PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON MY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS, I’m on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Clubhouse @anthonycanapi, and I will see you soon!
Warm Regards,
Anthony
